I wish

I wish I was still single. I wish I didn't have kids. I love my kids dearly but I wish for a chance at life and being an adult on my own without children, wihtout a partner...just me. Every day I hope that I don't wake up or that I get hit by a car or something, just so I don't have to live this same everyday over and over again. Being an adult and a wife and mum is not easy and not all rosy and nothing like I expected it to be. I want to start my whole life over again. But I can't. So I want it all over. But I don't have the guts to do that either because I am spineless. I am over putting on a brave face.

How does this work?

Are we allowed to comment on the posts made here? Do people who have posted anon want to get feedback? Because I think it would be wonderful if we could get some feed back on our anon posts.

Am i Bad?

I just found a girls name I didnt know on my Partners phone and deleted it.

Oh yay

Don't you just love ending the evening with a fight.  It's possibly even better when you start the morning with a fight.  If you can do both then you must be super talented. 

Yay, I'm talented.  Then why do I feel like crap?  Oh right, fighting.  It's not my thing and makes me feel like crap.  I guess he knows that though.

I'm an emotional wreck

Yesterday was a bad day.
I was upset for most of the day, eating everthing in my path and can't stop crying.
I'm so lonely, I have no idea I can just call up for a chat or invite over. Is there something wrong with me? Why can't I make friends easily like some people? And the friends I do make why do they exclude me?

I'm having an affair

Started out emotional. Now its turned physical. Only kissing. But as much as I'd like it to stay that way, I'm not entirely sure it will.

Someone has to be first

So why shouldn't it be me?  I'm never first in my own life so this makes a change.

Speaking of changes, there have been a few recently.  Some for the better, some I'm still just plain getting used to.  Given my first paragraph it probably doesn't surprise anyone to hear that most of these changes were not made with my best interests in mind.  I'm not even sure that some of them were in our family's best interest.  Still, it's been done so I may as well "suck it up, princess" and just get on with it.  I guess its a case of getting used to them, accepting them and deciding to make the best of it all.  I'm pretty good at that but it comes awfully close to denying my own wants, wishes, hopes and needs.

Story of my life actually.